*static crackles and then image resolves*
I haven’t really gone away, mind you. I’ve dropped anchor here in San Diego, though, and it’s time to start getting back into healthy patterns, which includes regular writing.
A lot has happened in the last week or so. In twelve days I’ve traveled to San Diego, settled in to my friends’ apartment, been taken on one of the most romantic dates of my life (and subsequently fallen head over heels for someone who feels the same and she’s wonderful, hail Freyja!), gotten to meet Njord/greet the ocean, learned how to deal with riptides, found new ways of balancing my many loves, been interviewed on a podcast, written yet another Patheos article, attended Pagan Pride Day on my birthday – basically I’ve hit the ground running. The only thing that I lack currently is a job, and that will be remedied soon. We’ll figure this one out.
The title of this post comes from a conversation that I had with my girlfriend a few weeks before coming here. She casually mentioned that the dry desert winds would be coming in soon, and that it would be fire season. Fire season? The image that I had in my head was flaming meteors crashing to the earth.
I’m kind of pyrophobic. I’ve had dear friends survive house fires. I also had a couple die in the same. I’m an earth sign and my chart leans so heavily towards earth it’s not funny – most of the symbols are earth, water, a smidge of air, and one lonely little fire sign on the edge. I’ve never been comfortable with fire, and I’ve been contemptous of so many other Pagans’ obsession with it.
Well, I’m in the wrong business then. I’m Fulltrui to the Lady of Fiery Passions, who casts a ring of flame down to hedge in a powerful giantess. I’ve moved from a land of air and water to a land of earth and fire, from Niflheim to Muspelheim. I’ve recently accepted Loki into my life (doesn’t it sound so evangelical that way?) despite the tension that I can feel every time he and Heimdall are invoked in the same room. I’ve had regular interactions with the Delling, the Red Elf of Dawn. Fire has been a theme for me.
A friend shared this song on Facebook on the equinox and tagged me in it. It’s a favorite of mine, but it had special meaning that day. I danced to it for the Kindreds, and especially for Freyja (though I gave a special nod to Gullveig as well) with scarves the colors of flames in my hands. I embraced my new path and destiny on my new path. I’m being reborn in the heat, in the fire, in the burning, raging firestorm. The sweat that glistens on my skin bejewels me, the heat that surrounds me suffuses me, the fire in the sky enflames my spirit. The time of rest is almost over, and it will be time to work again soon, but when I do, I will come armed with new dances, new words, new lovers and loves, new songs, new magicks, and new passion and purpose. A wheel spins that is really a spiral; though in some ways I’ve returned to an old place but it is a new iteration of the greater pattern, a broader track, a wider course, a new segment of the journey. Though I dance on hot coals I do not flinch, for now the flame is inside me as well.
Tonight I will be going with my girlfriend to picnic beneath the blood moon/eclipse, and renewing my vows to Freyja, this time with a new layer of meaning and certainty.
Fire season has begun.